I am trying to work out just what Peter Bingle's intentions are here.
Is this a spectacular own goal, friendly fire, some sort of trojan horse or a selection of other internal assault idioms?
"Musings of a Tory in despair" is a procrastinating and pensive view on what has to have been one of the worst comprised campaigns in recent history. One almost expects Malcolm Tucker to be swearing profusely behind a host of inept ministers as headline after headline of inconsistent policy, greed and pretentious press statements championing causes that are in fact thinly veiled ways to make financial and quality cuts accross the board.
The Bingle Blog (what a lovely soundbite?) attacks the campaign for failing to appeal to the right people, failing to stand up to scrutiny and essentially being disasterous from start to far away finish.
This multi-faceted, inconsistant and illogical strategy, is certainly not in the campaigner's handbook. However, the Sun's eternal optimism is amusing in the least. Only Murdoch could procclaim the seven point lead in the polls as a good thing and then report in the article in the fourth paragraph that this is a "a two year low". Afterall, not many people get to the fourth paragraph in a red-top tabloid!
Inadvertantly Underlining "Conservative Values"
The great #cashcroft is a further moral discrepancy between the politician and the common man. There is an appropriate parallel between expenses and tax evasion that is "within the rules". With over 2 million people unemployed, the financial lacunas that are a luxury of the rich, from "flipping" to "nom-dom" will not engage the voter with the Tory Party.
Bingle comments "the 'sleaze from Belize' is a toxic issue" and while it has made spectacular news fodder, the growing social divide is beginning to grate on even the young's nerves. Perhaps they will turn to Clegg and his proposal to close "tax loopholes exploited by the wealthy"? Sadly I doubt it.
Tory Policy U-Turns
As Brown said in one PMQT, when the Tories announced a policy a day, he didnt think it would be a policy on marriage tax breaks a day.
And this is just one chop and change. Bingle observes, "I haven't mentioned the lack of a consistent policy agenda because it is simply too depressing. Let's take health and education as an example. Andrew Lansley's core message is one of stability. Michael Gove's is one of radical change. I despair."
Are Ubiquitous "Chavs" In or Out?
Cameron's Blair-like rhetoric on "Broken Britain" is brought up by Bingle, the futile "hug a hoodie" projections earlier on in the decade have become a blitz on young crime and benefits recipients that was such a campaign success for Blair.
Seeing as Blair's much debated legislation on Antisocial Behaviour is deemed to be a disaster with nearly 50% breaching the poorly implemented and policed sanctions, you would think the Tories would have done their research thoroughly before jumping on this bandwagon.
As Bingle states; "Did it convince me that a Tory government would give power back to individuals and reduce the size of the state? No".
The vast bill board campaign is trounched by Bingle, and, as he correctly assesses, "the row about David's face being airbrushed damaged him as it seemed to confirm the suspicion that he is all image rather than substance."
The viral internet attacks on the campaign have also kept me amused in recent weeks. There is something of a lateral attack and irony on advertising standards when a poster campaign can be attacked with photoshop and tweeted in three minutes flat.
This is a revolutionary development on politics that I think will have far more of an impact in years to come than a any televised leader debate can do.
However, just as internet humour made some splendid mockups of Nick Griffin on Questiontime, I am sure the leadership debates will be detrimentalised in the same way.
There is no guide to internet campaigning, as yet. Politicians in the UK, perhaps predominately Web Hedgehogs than Web Foxes, are testing the water with Youtube videos, blogs and facebook. But with the virtual revolution one thing is clear. If you mess up, in any way, shape or form, you will be hung, drawn and slaughtered from Inverness to Cornwall and back again. In about three minutes flat.
Yet, while I scavenge on Bingle's article to make my own point about how bloody useless the Tory party is, I am still confused. Is it a charm offensive designed to make the public vote tory? Is it intended to make us pity Cameron and his inept staff? If so, I doubt it will work. Or perhaps it is Bingle's way of opening courting the other parties for a quick side change as the election polls level up?